So... even though... we are trying again and even though we have lost three in a row and even though my husband is LEAVING FOR A YEAR!?!....WAIT... I DON'T REMEMBER IF I TOLD YOU ALL THAT?? HE DEPLOYS FOR A YEAR ON JUNE TENTH.. ON THE DAY OF OUR TEN YEAR ANNIVERSARY... TO THE DESERT...
So... we just booked a Royal Caribbean cruise to the Eastern Caribbean for May. We can't guarantee I'll be pregnant by then. We sure hope so, but I'm tired of living in fear and regret. Two of the three islands are safe, one of them though, has of course, had a case of Zika. IF the news gets totally out of control before then, we may reconsider, but for now... we are taking this trip because we NEED the time together, the experience. He booked the biggest cruise ship in the world because, as I found out, he is afraid if he doesn't do it now, he might not ever (physically hurt, paralyzed, killed... you know, no big deal if your husband is scared that can happen right........ )
*BREATHE*
No pressure. Not only do we have maybe 4 months left of trying, but it actually has to stick and grow, and then don't even get me started on all the comments I've gotten on "Wouldn't you be better off waiting until he gets back to have a baby?" NO. No I won't. Physically yes maybe, but I can get help from family. Emotionally, nothing can fill the void of one year of not even being able to try ticking by.
I'm on day 16 dpo and no period. No spotting. No signs of pregnancy or not pregnancy. Just waiting. The longer it takes, the more I freak out that I'll only have three months instead of 4. Negative tests two days ago, haven't tested since. It's just taking a long time to get here. I don't get why but I swear I'm not pregnant. The only time I've spotted was on 9dpo, which I thought was implantation.
But no. No I am not pregnant. Temperature dips and no symptoms whatsoever.
Tick Tock. Tick Tock. . .
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