Short blurb

Super duper tired. Went to submarine picnic this morning. Trying to stay awake, not sure why. Have class right now but too distracted, as we are packing and getting ready for our trip. Sleeping on an airplane is not my best night's rest. Yuck! Back hurts. Not sure why I'm posting today with nothing to say, I guess I wanted to let you know I'm attempting to continue to post :)

Beaner is moving more every day. I think he has perfected the sommersault!

Ugh

Ugh is the best word to describe how I feel right now.  I spent the morning watching TV. Then, I cleaned the bathroom and organized my bedroom. Then, I went to the store and bought snacks for our trip. Now I am once again hungry and thirsty, my back is sore from store and cleaning, and I have no motivation to do anything else, yet, feel too lazy to do nothing. Therefore, I've considered writing one more blog before our trip as doing something. I had the worst nightmare ever the other night. It was so terrible I don't think you want to know, but it was about someone breaking in to kill Beaner while still in my belly. Not fun. Yesterday after the dream, Beaner didn't move barely at all. It freaked me out. But this morning he's been kicking like crazy and continuing to do so! In fact, I'm so surprised by his movement that I want to type faster to get this over with so I can just sit here and feel her move! (Like how I transitioned with him and her? :) )
Tonight we hail the new captain of the boat. This means we welcome him to the crew and go to dinner at his house. I'm kind of looking forward to this. This new captain has done a lot for Dave and I to help us out with baby and my back and I am very thankful for him.
Some people have assumed which sex of baby I want. I actually haven't told anyone if I have a preference. Nor do I intend to now. But what I will say is that not even Dave knows if I have a preference or not. And people cannot tell me that I cannot say "a  healthy one" because YES I CAN. and YES I WILL. And, especially, with my history, I am entirely in the right to be able to say that. In fact, anyone is really. But if I must, I will give one cliche, I want a cute baby. :)
I better end this now so I can go start my "online diet journal" which is mandatory homework assigned to me by my doctor! YAY.... (sacrasm drips...) It's a pain in the butt enough finding things I will eat, let alone having to log in every day to record it all! Oh well, it's all for the Bean!

Doctor Appointment

Yesterday I saw my doctor. My blood pressure was low, lower than last time. According to my doctor, I have not gained weight in six weeks. I think that's inaccurate, because I have weighed myself same time once a week at home and I have gained a few pounds. I have to see a dietician now and figure out a new eating plan, plus I'm now required to count all of my calories because my doctor is very concerned I am not getting enough. Oh, the good part, we heard Beaner's heartbeat and it was a healthy 156 beats per minute. He was kicking the whole time during listening, so we could 'hear' the kicks too, and actually see them. Doctor seemed surprised at how active the Bean was being. :)
Our trip is fine to go on, he didn't seem very concerned about any of our upcoming adventures. He said to take it easy on the rollercoasters and jerky rides and upside down rides, but otherwise use my judgment.
Yesterday was an amazing festivity of food stuffing. I really tried so after the appointment we ate at the hospital cafeteria. I had mashed potatoes and gravy, corn, a baked chicken leg (GROSS!) cottage cheese (GROSS) lemon cake (GROSS) milk and cranberry juice. This is like, amazing for me. Then, for dinner, it gets even more amazing because I ate the most repulsive piece of fried chicken breast ever! Dave laughed at me the whole time because he said I looked in pain as I was eating it. I hate chicken. But I'm trying, so Beaner, you better be happy! :) The only protein foods that do not gross me out are South Beach Diet protein bars. I think I am going to have to stock up because if I have to eat chicken again... well, I just hope I can find an alternative.
Other than chicken, things are going well. Beaner kicks a lot now. Even though he can't see anything, I think he's excited for his first trip to Disney World. :)

Fast food frenzy

I love you too Alex! And yes, mom, I will ask lots of questions!

This morning I woke up and drove straight to McDonalds. Yes, the place I hate, the place I dread, the place my in-laws think is the greatest thing ever, the place I cannot even stand to think about or else I will feel sick. However, I give them props for three things: 1. Orange Hi-C. There is no limit to how much I can drink! 2. smoothies, although, I have not been able to try them yet because everytime I go there for a smoothie their machine is broken, and 3. sausage burritos. For someone who really doesn't like any 'real' food, eggs and sausage and cheese really sound terrible. But, for some reason, I not only tolerate them but at times crave them. So this morning I bought four, thinking I could eat them throughout the day eventually. After church today, we went to Arby's and got junior roast beefs. Another completely nasty not on the list food. However, in the five seconds I saw Arby's and decided I could tolerate it, Dave spun in there so fast, there was no going back! So I ate it in the car on the way home before I changed my mind. This is all in an attempt to gain weight and eat protein and fat. This whole drinking 2 plus quarts of water a day is starting to get to me. I spend more time in the bathroom than anywhere else throughout the day! It's bad enough to have constant pressure on your bladder from baby, but then having a bladder always full! UGH!
I am very worn out and it is only 6:30PM and I have not done much except go to church, eat, and watch movies today. I have yet to pack for our trip and I still have a few chapters to read before I take off, but reading and packing both seem like too much work. I would like to get some fresh air and loosen up my back and go on a walk but I fear having to pee the minute I step out the door. Wow, I'm going to be great fun to my husband in Orlando! :)
My nephew took off for marine basic training today. He plans to visit in November after he graduates, at which time I will be very much bigger. I'm excited for him and to see him after his butt kicking.
As much as I wish Dave would read more baby books (aka pamper pregnant mom books) he does a pretty decent job when he wants too. Today he cleaned the kitchen and living room practically by himself, as I puttered around. I'm happy I have him! Tomorrow is the doctor's appointment! I'm thinking of chugging a gallon of water so we don't have to talk about my inability to gain weight! Oh well, we'll see. If only they made a tasteless pill for that!

Kicking Bean

Beaner moves around, quite a bit actually. Most of the movements I can only feel with my fingertips, but lately, I can feel kicking or movement just from within! My husband is too impatient to hold his hand there long enough to feel, but soon enough and he won't have to wait too long!
Today was a good day. I got a lot of reading and notetaking done, cleaned house a bit, and scored some free concert tickets for a concert I'm not sure I'll even go too. (Toby Keith and Trace Atkins). There is a tiny chance that we might have family visit this week, assuming they can come see the submarine. But with such a last minute notice this might not all come together. We are busily getting our house in order and working on the very beginnings of packing, as in, we are thinking about it! We pull out of Washington in January and I obviously won't be of much use to pack beginning in November and especially December, so we are trying to get everything ready to go before I become too 'incapable'. :)
Doctor appointment is on Monday. Still attempting to regain my appetite!
And, now, for all this demand to post a blog everyday, how come I no longer receive comments?? Readers! Start typing back :)

Back to class now. Had a great day!

Celebrating with a Coke

Very seldom do I drink caffeine. As in, maybe seven caffeinated beverages in the last 18 weeks. But today called for a Coca Cola. So, I called the doctor today. My lab results are in for the quad screen. The result: NEGATIVE. Which, is positive! Confused? Basically the screen tested for downs, trisnomy two types, and something called afp, (I think). Well, the result is that based on this test, Beaner does not have any of it, so he/she is healthy as far as we know.
Once again, celebrating is worthwhile yes, but still difficult to fully enjoy with my friend knowing her baby is not so fortunate. That is still rough and maybe why I haven't written as much. However, she has told me time and again to continue to share my news and be joyful about it and let her know what is going on.
So here's some new news. We are officially moving from Washington. We have no idea to where yet, as nothing is finalized, but we will be moving the first of February, just one short month after Beaner's debut into the world. This will be quite interesting!!! There will be A LOT to do!
If you didn't know, we also go to Disney World soon. Which means, I better start catching up on my reading for class so I do not slack too much! I still have half of a class to finish in order to graduate and don't want to get behind! Starting at the end of August I should be able to focus more on preparing the house for the move and the baby.
More to come, but I just wanted to give a quick update for my small handful of readers! Oh, and, if you want to share this blog with anyone, I am open and up for that at this point. (Yes mom, you can officially spill the Beaner to the world!)

Tests

In a way, it almost feels wrong to continue writing about my journey and joys of this pregnancy when I know my friend is going through so much. However, after finally being able to speak to her on the phone, she has assured me that she wants to hear about me, is happy for me, etc. etc. etc. I know this very position because last year after I lost my baby, everyone and their dog got pregnant. She is positive and handling things very well. By the way, she is pregnant with a little girl. Other details than that I still don't feel are mine to tell at this time.

Today is kind of gloomy, both literal and figuratively. I went to the hospital today to get my quad screen run. For those of you who do not know, this is the test where they find out if the baby has any chromosomal abnormalities, such as downs syndrome, AFP is measured, and a few other things. I have been putting this test off because I never wanted to have it done in the first place. Yet, my doctor and husband talked me into it because they say if something is wrong, then during labor they can have the appropriate staff available to immediately care for the baby. With all of my research and experience on this, usually if you are under 35, healthy, no family history of such abnormalities...then the tests are generally negative. I suppose I'm not in high spirits because my best friend fits this category and yet, on the rare occurance things happen, she did not get a clear quad screen, which led to her high risk ultra sound, which led to the knowledge that her baby 99% will not survive, if baby even makes it to birth. I know that everyone tells me things will go fine, but that's what I said to my friend. And now I feel really bad for being so optimistic. But some things are completely out of our control, and in fact, what happened to her is something that happens literally at the time of conception and so nothing could have ever been done to prevent it in the first place.

So here I am, finally getting the screening done. It takes a week to get results. I know my chances are very low to have anything wrong, but having experienced the worst of things in my pregnancy last year, it only makes me wonder if my 'bad things happening to me streak' is over. Then again, they also say that most women who experience a miscarriage go on to have a healthy normal baby. So maybe by experiencing this loss already, my slate is clean and ready for something good. But still, it makes me wonder.

Weight gain.... here's an issue that my doctor continually taps on me for. I looked up the average weight gain at 17 weeks, and it said between five and ten pounds. Then, I did a pregnancy weight gain calculator which determined pre pregnancy I was underweight, and currently I am like, 1.6 pounds off on the low end. In other words, the 'calculator' found on thebabycenter.com has determined that I will have to gain 2 pounds a week the rest of pregnancy to weight the proper amount. If you don't know what that means, it means that every other pregnant woman out there has only been told to gain one pound a week from here on out. Now, let me be perfectly clear for my critics out there. I am not afraid to gain weight, it does not bother me to gain weight. It is simply that I either am not eating enough or cannot eat enough to make this happen. I have tried but I guess I have to try harder. I have not gained a pound for the last three weeks when I should have been, but I have lost a pound. This scares me, as I am actually trying. I think just in the last couple of days I may be getting my appetite back. Most foods not only smell bad or sound bad, but they absolutely repulse me. However, as I said, I think this is getting better, as for the last two days I have had a steak and cheese subway sandwich for lunch. This is my effort to get protein, wheat and carbs, and tons of veggies. For the past well, entire pregnancy, chicken was completely out of the question, salad was a no go, hamburgers, french fries or anything greasy I wouldn't even look at, and most meats had to be seriously considered before gagging down. Last night we had spaghetti and it was very good. Tonight I am making tacos. I switched my milk products and am really trying to gain weight. If I could eat tuna everyday I would, except leave it to me to find something I want to eat and cannot eat in such quantities ( mercury in tuna, limited to pregnant women).

In my last several posts I have quit bothering to spell check. So I'm sorry if that bothers you. :) It is time to go make lunch and study for the first test of my last class ever!

Rollercoaster of Emotions

Before I begin what I really want to say, let me tell you how my weekend went. Dave and I went to my brother's house across the water. We stayed up late grocery shopping and talking. (Okay brother, yes, 10 is late for me!) Saturday morning we headed to Pacific Raceways, where the NHRA race car association? had top fuel, funny car, and alcohol car drag races. If you're like me, you probably have no idea what that all means. Basically, top fuel and funny car race the loudest things on the planet! I think Dave said they run 7,000 horsepower. When you are in the stands and pregnant, this is an interesting experience! My seat was rattling and I'm sure Beaner thought we were launching to outer space with all the crazy noises and vibrations. I had ear plugs in and still have to cover my ears tightly! My whole body shook as the cars whizzed by. I think the best comparison would be to stand in front of a 747 jet engine prior to take off. Even that, I'm not sure, would compare! I was scared I was hurting Beaner, but the doctor said it would be safe and okay. Although race cars are not my thing, it was definitely an experience! Aside it being hot and me being thirsty all day and having to pee every ten minutes, it was a good weekend!

Today I got the worst news ever. And since it is not my news to tell, I will do my best to guard the privacy of the situation. But I cannot help but write about it because it is so near and dear to my heart. My miscarriage last year was probably the hardest thing I have ever been through. But, the sadness I am feeling now for a loved one is even heavier than my own loss. For those concerned, my Beaner is healthy as far as I know and things are going well. However, another little Beaner out there will not be so fortunate. My heart breaks for my dear loved one and there is nothing any of us can do to prevent this upcoming loss. The purpose of sadness like this does not make sense and I don't think it ever will. However, I do know with faith and certainty, through experience, that even when the darkness rises and hope seems lost, the sun always seems to make its way back out again, and hope rides its radiant beams in the midst of the storm, to clear up the rain. It took nearly one year after my loss for the rain to clear and the sun to start beaming again, but the sun did come out. Even the most hopeless situation can turn itself around through time, faith, and hope.

I will leave that as it is for now. But your thoughts and prayers for my friend are all much appreciated. I'm not sure when I will write again, as it is hard to be joyful in your own situation when someone so loved suffers so much.

Catch-Up

Okay okay, I'm slacking on the writing! I'll try to do better! Really!
So Fourth of July was a truly great day. We went to a parade, the same one we went to last year. In fact, last year at this same parade, it was shortly after my miscarriage. A little girl stood next to us the whole time, she must have been about four. I caught a frisbee that just happened to be flying toward me, and the little girl went to her daddy and cried that she did not get one. I immediately crouched to her level and handed her the frisbee. She was so excited she came up to me and wrapped her little arms around my knees, with her little tears, and told me thank you. It was that moment that made me keep fighting on my desire to have children. And so, this year going to the parade, it was really a happy time because this time around, I am pregnant!

After the parade, we went to Central Market. For those who do not know, this is a large grocery store that carries specialty items. We picked a lot of different things out, including maple syrup, figs, prunes, dried cherries, habernero almonds, and honey sticks. Then we ate outside where they were serving bbq pork sandwiches. After this, we headed toward an RV dealership and looked around on the lot in our hopes of future purchases.

The evening of the fourth I spent napping and watching movies with Dave. Then, at 10 PM we went to the top of a very tall parking garage to watch the fireworks over the bay. After half an hour of waiting, we were tired and decided to walk back home. As we neared our house, the fireworks began. We quickly went down the street, and, peering through a hole in the trees, we found the most perfect view of the fireworks going off over the ships. Apparently they started so late because it was downpouring around the area they were going to light from.

Now, up to date. Yesterday Dave had his change of command ceremony on the sub base. The old captain was out and the new captain came in. The ceremony was nice but the sun was blazing! It was a hot day! Yesterday evening we walked down to Sam Adams, where my fellow coworkers met us for a good bye party for me from work. I was so thrilled to see that actually, every single coworker but one showed up! It really made me feel great! They gave me a baby gift card and we all had food and drinks. It was a good night, good week, good times.

As I am sitting here supposedly paying attention to my class which is currently going on, I am also thinking about how wonderful it is that my house is mostly clean! We spent hours today getting things nice around here. Tonight we take off for my brothers house across the water, for the weekend. Tomorrow we go to something I am dreading and Dave is thrilled about.... NHRA drag racing. Ugh! It is going to be hot, loud, and stinky. I hope Beaner packed his ear plugs. :)

Worn Out!

I have officially quit my job. However, I am still in the last week of the two week notice. Every day at work gets longer and harder. My back is not enjoying anything lately. I think my spine is moving away from my bar. Ligaments loosen and hormones rage during pregnancy...not helping. Then again, I knew what I was in for and so it's not necessarily complaining, I just need a place to vent the inevitable.
So for those who are curious, we will not be finding out the sex of the baby. We want to be surprised (and torture you all in the process!). I'm not sure if I have mentioned this, but a week or two ago I received three large boxes full of baby goodies! So EXCITING! My sister in law went to rummage sales with my niece and they spoiled me with little boy and little girl clothes, a bath, and other goodies.
Nearly 15 weeks (Sunday) and still sick! Still cannot stand the thought of eating most foods. I think it might be time to buy carnation, ensure, and supplements! Cuz this baby is not getting its protein! Chicken is out of the question, and all other meat is pretty much disgusting. Working on it though! Yogurt, milk, fruit-no problem :)
I'm tired. I'm sick. I hurt. But here I am writing, because I know you want to know! More to come later.
OH WAIT! Dave got to hear heart beat for the first time on Monday! Maybe I already said that? Well, he was excited and it was cool to have him be there with me.