Tests

In a way, it almost feels wrong to continue writing about my journey and joys of this pregnancy when I know my friend is going through so much. However, after finally being able to speak to her on the phone, she has assured me that she wants to hear about me, is happy for me, etc. etc. etc. I know this very position because last year after I lost my baby, everyone and their dog got pregnant. She is positive and handling things very well. By the way, she is pregnant with a little girl. Other details than that I still don't feel are mine to tell at this time.

Today is kind of gloomy, both literal and figuratively. I went to the hospital today to get my quad screen run. For those of you who do not know, this is the test where they find out if the baby has any chromosomal abnormalities, such as downs syndrome, AFP is measured, and a few other things. I have been putting this test off because I never wanted to have it done in the first place. Yet, my doctor and husband talked me into it because they say if something is wrong, then during labor they can have the appropriate staff available to immediately care for the baby. With all of my research and experience on this, usually if you are under 35, healthy, no family history of such abnormalities...then the tests are generally negative. I suppose I'm not in high spirits because my best friend fits this category and yet, on the rare occurance things happen, she did not get a clear quad screen, which led to her high risk ultra sound, which led to the knowledge that her baby 99% will not survive, if baby even makes it to birth. I know that everyone tells me things will go fine, but that's what I said to my friend. And now I feel really bad for being so optimistic. But some things are completely out of our control, and in fact, what happened to her is something that happens literally at the time of conception and so nothing could have ever been done to prevent it in the first place.

So here I am, finally getting the screening done. It takes a week to get results. I know my chances are very low to have anything wrong, but having experienced the worst of things in my pregnancy last year, it only makes me wonder if my 'bad things happening to me streak' is over. Then again, they also say that most women who experience a miscarriage go on to have a healthy normal baby. So maybe by experiencing this loss already, my slate is clean and ready for something good. But still, it makes me wonder.

Weight gain.... here's an issue that my doctor continually taps on me for. I looked up the average weight gain at 17 weeks, and it said between five and ten pounds. Then, I did a pregnancy weight gain calculator which determined pre pregnancy I was underweight, and currently I am like, 1.6 pounds off on the low end. In other words, the 'calculator' found on thebabycenter.com has determined that I will have to gain 2 pounds a week the rest of pregnancy to weight the proper amount. If you don't know what that means, it means that every other pregnant woman out there has only been told to gain one pound a week from here on out. Now, let me be perfectly clear for my critics out there. I am not afraid to gain weight, it does not bother me to gain weight. It is simply that I either am not eating enough or cannot eat enough to make this happen. I have tried but I guess I have to try harder. I have not gained a pound for the last three weeks when I should have been, but I have lost a pound. This scares me, as I am actually trying. I think just in the last couple of days I may be getting my appetite back. Most foods not only smell bad or sound bad, but they absolutely repulse me. However, as I said, I think this is getting better, as for the last two days I have had a steak and cheese subway sandwich for lunch. This is my effort to get protein, wheat and carbs, and tons of veggies. For the past well, entire pregnancy, chicken was completely out of the question, salad was a no go, hamburgers, french fries or anything greasy I wouldn't even look at, and most meats had to be seriously considered before gagging down. Last night we had spaghetti and it was very good. Tonight I am making tacos. I switched my milk products and am really trying to gain weight. If I could eat tuna everyday I would, except leave it to me to find something I want to eat and cannot eat in such quantities ( mercury in tuna, limited to pregnant women).

In my last several posts I have quit bothering to spell check. So I'm sorry if that bothers you. :) It is time to go make lunch and study for the first test of my last class ever!